Week 3 Story: Brothers, Keepers
“Mother used to maintain some sense of egalitarianism among
the three of us,” Jefferson stated flatly to Chloe.
They were sitting together at the rim of a large concrete
drainage ditch below a crosstown highway bridge. Jefferson shifted gently side
to side letting the skateboard he sat on
roll beneath him. The wheels hung on the ditch’s hard brim. Chloe’s back lay in
the grass beyond letting her legs dangle down the rough gray slope. She stared
at the back of her boyfriend’s maturing shoulders. The plywood nose of
Jefferson’s skateboard nudged her thigh with every reciprocating roll.
“What changed?” Chloe asked after a long pause.
Jefferson shrugged his shoulders. He had an answer. At least
the voice in his head had an answer. He wasn’t ready to recognize it yet. That
thought, he decided to himself, will stay my own for a little while longer.
“I know why,” cracked a voice approaching from behind the two.
“Because Carter’s a little bitch,” Roose chided. Roosevelt and Carter both set the rear skateboard wheels
on the lip of the concrete bank beside Chloe. Tipping the boards’ nose up so
both feet could rest on the deck, they each leaned in until they dropped into a
glide down the ditch’s steep slope. Roose whooped as he rolled across the
bottom of ditch and up the opposite side followed closely behind by Carter.
Carter didn’t reply. His posture validated the affectionately
smug comment his middle brother had just made.
Out of the three boys, Carter was the youngest. He had inherited
his mother’s fair looks but had been spared her bipolar demeanor. The boys’ late
father had bestowed on the family a benevolent sense of equality and justice.
He had been a moral compass that guided the diverse personalities of his three
sons with a firm, mentoring love. His warm character had seen past the psychological
inconsistencies of the boys’ mother and treasured her despite the cycles of
mania and depression that dominated her monthly routine.
Through the relationship that their mother and father shared
with each other, a standard had been set by which they would raise their family.
Weaknesses and strengths would not define each boy.
Autonomy would be encouraged and nurtured, but no one part would be better than the whole. Each boy would be taught to find his vocation and engage it with honor and pride. These lessons would be delivered with care and banter.
Autonomy would be encouraged and nurtured, but no one part would be better than the whole. Each boy would be taught to find his vocation and engage it with honor and pride. These lessons would be delivered with care and banter.
That is how they had lived, Jefferson thought. But now, it
was up to him to bear that bittersweet burden of leadership.
Since their father had passed away, their mother’s grief had
set in motion a progressively erratic sequence of mood swings. The first time
the boys woke up to their mom being gone, it was scary. Despite the intense panic
all three boys had felt, Jefferson had to hold it in. As he left interval phone
messages on their mother’s cellphone, Roose had tossed her room looking for
clues to where she had disappeared to. Carter had wrapped himself up in her
blanket with his hands over his ears to block Roose’s profanity
laden streams of shouting. She had come back home late that evening without
speaking a word, crawling onto her overturned mattress to pass out with no
acknowledgment of her surroundings.
Her disappearing events became a numbing re-occurrence. The
boys had tried to follow her, but she would wait until they were at school or
asleep before she would leave. Her manic moments became less enthusiastic and
her depression grew darker. Through all her solemn abandonment, Carter would
often wake up to her tight embrace and quiet sob. Jefferson would find notes of
encouragement on the refrigerator door. Roose would find money in his sock
drawer.
Although months had passed, time had nearly stopped for the
fragmented family. Routine had become an anchor among chaos. Jefferson and Chloe
had grown closer as they edged toward graduation. With her affection and
reassurance, he had rediscovered his father’s voice inside his head. Roose had
become the group’s Sergent-At-Arms, ready to staunchly provide for and defend
his brood against all challenges real or imagined. Carter had learned to love
and despise his mother equally. Despite his internal turmoil, he dedicated himself to his older brothers and his mother in an
attempt to marry compassion with acceptance. Regardless of the splintering fate bestowed upon the young men, the brotherhood refused to fall apart. Together, the three had begun to heal.
Author's Note: Through Narayan's narration of the Ramayana, he tells the tale of the betrayal of the king, Dasaratha, by his wife Kaikeyi in the story "Two Promises Revived." In the Ramayana, the king is the father of three sons. In this particular tale, he has determined to abdicate his throne to his son Rama against his wife, Kaikeyi's wishes. Kaikeyi is not the mother of Rama, rather she is the mother of Bharata and she wishes for her own son to be crowned king. Despite her devious, albeit successful attempt to seize the throne for Bharata, the king's three sons stand up for each other with wholesome reverence. In this way, I wanted to craft a narrative that drew a picture of similar reverence among contemporary characters. In my story, the mother could be a combination of Kaushalya, Sumitra, and Kaikeyi, but mostly the latter of the three. Rama, son of Kaushalya, is portrayed as the oldest son, Jefferson. Lakshmana, son of Sumitra, is portrayed as Roosevelt (Roose). Bharata, son of Kaikeyi, is portrayed as Carter. Finally, Sita is portrayed as Chloe, Jeffereson's girlfriend. Together they learn to accept the dramatic transition they find themselves in while leaving a subtle acknowledgement of continuing catharsis.
Bibliography:
"Two Promises Revived" by R. K. Narayan from The Ramayana.
Hi Joshua, I like the vivid description you use in your story. Your verb usage brings the story together and creates an immersive atmosphere as you read it. I think you managed to capture the essence of the old story with your fresh take on it. The setting was real and relatable, and you used just enough details from the original story for someone to make the connection.
ReplyDeleteHey, Joshua! What a well-written adaptation to the original story. I really liked how you took the ambiguities of the Ramayana episode and set them in a more tangible, connectable context. While the parallels were clear throughout, you could maybe add a few more details or plot elements near the end in order to spice up the ideals of the original. Thank you for such excellent writing!
ReplyDeleteHi Joshua,
ReplyDeleteThis was a very descriptive story. The attention to detail was great. There are thing that remain the same across time and cultures. Strong brotherly bonds was at the center of the story, and so was at this story. I think it was a great adaptation.
Looking forward to reading more stories from you.
-Kevin
Hi Joshua! What a great story. Your details were vivid and it felt like this could be made into a show! I recently watched the Northern Rescue on Netflix and this family lost the mother/wife from cancer. The three children would always argue with each other or the dad, but in the end that sibling bond couldn't be broken. Such a great way to end your story as well! Good job!
ReplyDelete